Kung Fu - the lameness continues

I was waiting for Babylon 5 to come on last night and ended up enduring an episode of Kung Fu - The Legend Continues. I have seen a few other episodes and the thing that ticks me off is that the cop never gets to bust a cap in someone's ass.

They start off kung fu fighting, he holds his own and after knocking them all down he pulls his gun to solidify his control of the situation. It is promptly kicked out of his hand and more kung fu ensues.

Just once I want to see

*BANG*

``Gee, your kick just wasn't fast enough.  Now you have a big hole in
your abdomen...  and you other fucks just kiss the pavement.  I'm
calling in my backup five oh pals and you are all going to take a
little trip to the containment facility.  And let's get this Miranda
business out of the way:

  You have the right to shut the fuck up...''

Full auto beats cyclone kick.

The other major problem with KF-TLC is that the martial arts moves are so SLOW. If Jackie Chan were directing, the fight scenes would be a lot more exciting. Of course, then the show would only be half the length, and no American stunt man would be able to perform the stunts.

Fucking American action flicks. At least they have a pyrotechnics budget.

Back to White Hot Lesbo Action!

Robert Forsman <thoth@purplefrog.com>

Last modified: Mon Oct 16 00:09:00 1995