I hate everybody

Dumb people waste my time.

``Excuse me, my screen locked up.'' Yeah, yeah, serves you right for thinking you know how to operate a computer.

``Hi. I'm from the Gainesville Sun. Would you like a refundable trial subscription?'' Fuck no. Your establishment rag distorts issues so badly that not even a phase conjugate mirror can extract the truth from them.

``Hi, would you like an application for a special student credit card?'' Uh, no. One, the only thing that's special about that card is the mind-bogglingly low limit and the abominably high interest rate. I've built my credit rating, baby, and I'd rather get sodomized by every inmate on death row than waste time filling out your application. It would be cheaper.

Dumb people live in Tennessee and try to sue BBS ops in California who transmit offensive material when requested. Listen, dumbfuck, if you can't handle the outside world, stay home. California should respond to the lawsuit by creating a blockade around Tennessee that prevents modems from being shipped in.

Dumb people stand in booths at trade shows. ``So, is your company shipping machines without the floating point bug yet'' ``Uh, floating point bug? What are you talking about? Let me write that down and get back to you.'' While we're on the subject of trade shows, why do they give out worthless crap? T-shirts, pens, and bike water bottles are cool, but UB (formerly Ungerman Bass, who suck BTW) hands out these little water puzzles which are good for sitting on your desk and nothing else (which brings up light manufacturing). Maybe it symbolizes the difficulty of making UB gear actually work.

Smart people

If they're really smart, they can outsmart me, which is often embarassing for me. I hate being embarrassed.

Smart people are usually better than me at something. I hate not being the best.

Charitable people

I'd rather send them machetes so they can kill each other over waterless (and now treeless since they've been raping the forests for fuel) patches of dirt. Of course, then I'll have to expand funding for national defense, on the off chance they start eyeing my bit of land. ``Fuck you, my dirt, and I'm from the U.S.A. where our bombs are smarter than your entire fucking cabinet (or politbureau, or whateverthefuck group of guys serve as yes-men for your petty murdering dictator)''.

People in commercials

If it's a beer commercial, they're having a hell of a lot more fun than I ever had, even when beer was involved.

I hate supermodels too. They have stupid accents. They smile at me like they want to fuck me. I mean, what do you think I'm going to think when you stare at 3 million people like you want to fuck them? You're used, easy! Get out of my face. And, no, I won't buy your bloody Lucious Lashes Mabelline petrochemical-derived crap.

Politically correct people

Fuck you. I like Duckman and the Simpsons. What do you mean it's unkind to offend people? What do you think I live for?! If you can't deal with it, just have an aneurysm and die and quit wasting oxygen.

Everybody else

So, next time I'm walking down the street and smile at you, just remember that it's only because the alternative is for me to kill you and I'm not willing to waste the time and effort.

People I especially hate

well, not really, but it's a page about hate so it's only appropriate to say I hate them

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